One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
