Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize