My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize