Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
