Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think people are normalizing furries
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
