she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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