I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
