What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
