i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
