I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS