I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think people are normalizing furries
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.