I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.