i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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