what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
