Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
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Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
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i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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