We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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