It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
