Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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