The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Be still, my beating vagina.
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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