is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
