I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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