how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
