Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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