Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
