Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
