Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
