she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
