you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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