Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
