your room smells of hookers.
And success
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is Oprah even human
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
