Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
