haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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