Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Alive.
So much puke
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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