You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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