omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
