You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
