Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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