I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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