I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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