this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
