Porn is love you can see.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize