Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize