it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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