Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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