Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
