Texts From Last Night

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  (243): View more from

  the bitch is dead man

  (1-243): View more from

  YOUR DOG DIED?

  (243): View more from

  no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.

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  (243): the bitch is dead man (1-243): YOUR DOG DIED? (243): no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon. http://tfl.nu/0e8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (519)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  At least make sure they are 18

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why

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  (508): At least make sure they are 18 (401): Why http://tfl.nu/mji4
  Replies (8) Good night (1566) Bad night (690)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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  (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb
  Replies (63) Good night (2561) Bad night (3327)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You can't be serious.

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  (417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch
  Replies (58) Good night (3179) Bad night (596)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.

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  (708): A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch. http://tfl.nu/zmaj
  Replies (24) Good night (3787) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work

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  (806): a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work http://tfl.nu/5pwl
  Replies (19) Good night (806) Bad night (3996) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

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  (641): Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that. http://tfl.nu/il0g
  Replies (15) Good night (4036) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.

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  (516): i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik. http://tfl.nu/oo49
  Replies (14) Good night (4118) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before

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  (615): You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before http://tfl.nu/c77w
  Replies (37) Good night (1840) Bad night (5724) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

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  (217): I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day http://tfl.nu/8h3x
  Replies (9) Good night (859) Bad night (1963) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

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  (270): I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement http://tfl.nu/ql20
  Replies (22) Good night (3066) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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  (734): Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ngas
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD

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  (614): Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD http://tfl.nu/nf04
  Replies (8) Good night (1225) Bad night (308)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.

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  (203): I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/lj0r
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (204)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (235)

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