god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober