return my video game
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.