Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"