Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
