Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
