You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
