tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am available for nakedness
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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