Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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