He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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