either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
