please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
