well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize