D3 body, D1 cock
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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