Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
