so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
