It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
