this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just had sex on a roof
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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