This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i already hear my dad disowning me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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