whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
