she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
