WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
